Lead Yourself First: Unlocking the Inner Power of Authentic Leadership

00:02

Dr. Angela Aja

Welcome to Summoned to Soar Radio. This podcast was created for bold female leaders who are ready to rise above the hustle and create a life of purpose, impact and influence. If you've got a big vision and a deep desire to make your mark on the world and a hunger to step into your next season with clarity and confidence, then let me tell you're at the right place at the right time. Here's what we're all about. We're about helping women rediscover their authentic voice, reinvent themselves as powerful, influential leaders, and then reclaim their authority with a thought leadership book. With simple, actionable mindset strategies and the SOAR method, which is our proven framework for transformation, you'll discover how to turn your challenges into stepping stones, lead with authenticity and boldness, and share your message in a way that leaves a legacy.

: 01:03

Dr. Angela Aja

Join me and my inspiring guests as we share personal stories, practical tools, and strategies to help you align your life with your purpose. Whether you're looking to shift the narrative around women and leadership or cement your legacy as a spirit led visionary, this podcast will give you the courage and clarity to soar. It's time to embrace your story, own your journey, and amplify your impact. And even if life hasn't gone as planned, transform. Breakthrough. Soar. Are you ready?

: 01:41

Dr. Angela Aja

Hey. Welcome today's podcast. I am so excited to talk about this subject. Today I want to talk about the power of self leadership. So, growing up around leaders all of my life, I've seen leaders go on to leave a great legacy. And I've also seen leaders just sabotage what they've built. And I believe that as a result of seeing that, I believe I found some real keys to going the distance of leadership with so that you can lead without burning out or buckling under the pressure. And self leadership is one of those things that is, I believe, foundational to leadership. Here's what leadership is not. First of all, leadership is not someone who's bossy, someone who says, I'll just do it all myself. Leadership is not someone who guilts people into doing things or someone who is controlling. Leadership, though, is influence.

: 02:59

Dr. Angela Aja

And you may have heard that before, but I want to present something a little bit different to you today. And that is, I believe that true leadership is the ability for us as leaders to influence our own thoughts, patterns and emotions. It's the ability that we have as leaders to influence our own past, present and future. In other words, that we are not allowing our past to dictate our future. We are not operating from a place of fear because of what we've experienced in the past. We're not assuming our past on our future or even our present. And so I want you to think about influence as the ability to operate from a place of personal power. And you know, the Bible says that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love power and of a sound mind.

: 04:05

Dr. Angela Aja

But so many times we choose not to operate from a place of power or personal power because we've seen the abuse of power, which is control. And so we're afraid to operate out of that control. And so we end up operating from a place of powerlessness. But again, personal power is the ability for us to control our own thoughts, patterns and emotions. And in order to control and influence our own thoughts, patterns and emotions, we have to be paying attention to our thoughts, patterns and emotions. And I want to say this, that if you've ever experienced the abuse of power is not power at all. It's actually a lack of personal power. And so if you've ever experienced that, if you see someone who is operating from a place of control, that's not personal power, and it's certainly not leadership.

: 05:17

Dr. Angela Aja

That's why we have to operate from a place of leading ourselves first. So, you know, a leader does show up. You know, they may dress the part, they see through situations that are not exactly real. They're not afraid to have difficult conversations. And a lot of times I hear women are really afraid of confrontation. But you can reframe that. And part of self leadership is reframing confrontation as just a conversation that brings clarity and you can reframe that conflict. A leader listens at a global level. And what I mean by that is they go beyond listening and then still listening to their own thoughts as they're listening to someone else talk. A leader listens at a global level. In other words, they are focused on the person they're listening to. They're listening from a place of empathy.

: 06:33

Dr. Angela Aja

They're listening from a place of paying attention to everything that's going on, the entire context of the conversation, even body language, pauses, interjections, the speed and tone of the person that's speaking. And then a leader, you know, is deeply authentic, a good leader. And part of showing up authentic is you have to lead yourself well. You have to really get to know who you are, why you're here, what you're here to do as a leader, so that you are leading from a place of deep authenticity and not trying to prove who you are in your leadership. A Leader also speaks up. They ask powerful questions. They're deep listeners. They listen from a place of curiosity without assuming that they know the answer or they know what's best for the other person. They come from a perspective.

: 07:41

Dr. Angela Aja

Good leaders who are leading themselves well come from the perspective that the answers are inside of other people. What this does is this allows a good leader not to take too much responsibility for the other person. You know, someone who's leading themselves well, they know how to fail with grace and elegance. They don't see themselves, their identity as failure, but they see failure as an action. And then a leader steps up. A leader does things that not everyone else is willing to do, but they're committed to the journey and not just the destination. I say in Summoned to Soar, my book, it's on Amazon if you want to grab it. I say that the rise, which is the fifth stage of the rise of a woman, and this is where we see a woman stepping into real leadership.

: 08:46

Dr. Angela Aja

I say that the rise is not a destination, it's a culmination of who you've become in the process. And then, you know, the other thing about a leader is that leaders create and forge a path where there may not be one. And this is where at times we as leaders, we really have to tap into that self leadership because there may not be anyone for us to model, there may not be anyone for us to look at. When we're out there creating new paths where there haven't been any paths before. There may not be someone that we can model ourselves after. And so we have to really tap into that self leadership so that we can identify, you know, what is God calling us to do without being distracted by the opinions of others. And that is really an important part of the process.

: 09:56

Dr. Angela Aja

Another part of leading yourself well is to really understand yourself seasons, the season of life that you're in, and not allowing yourself to get stuck. Because when you're operating from a place of self leadership, it helps you so that you don't get stuck. And here's what I mean by that. Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, verse 1. It says to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. So, so you know, if you are a leader, if you're feeling stuck, I want you to know that you're just in a season. A season in scripture is a divinely appointed window of time with a specific purpose. So just like nature, your life moves in cycles. And it's not to keep you stuck, but it is to prepare you prune you plant you and then ultimately propel you into your purpose. A season.

: 11:06

Dr. Angela Aja

I want you to think about a season like this. A season is a spiritual environment with specific lessons and assignments. And guess what? A season is temporary. It has a start time and an end time. That start time and end time may not be what you want it to be, but it does have an end point. And, you know, seasons are really necessary for our growth and for healing and even for stepping into that season of harvesting everything, all the seeds that you've planted over your. Your life and seasons are a good way for your development to happen. You know, so just like in. In the natural world, we have spring, we have summer, we have fall, and we have winter. And I came up with a few analogies here I want to share with you.

: 12:04

Dr. Angela Aja

And the first one is, if you feel like you're in spring, you're in a season of planting, new beginnings, vision and clarity. But if you feel like you're in summer, you might be in a season of growth, you're having to be faithful, and you're really having to operate from a place of stewardship. Now, if you feel like you're in a fall season of your life, you might be in a season of harvest, seeing great productivity and then really reaping the results. But if you're in the winter season, you might be in a season of rest and pruning, reflection. You're having to trust what's going on. And, you know, some trees are deciduous, and what that means is that some trees, they die in the winter season. They.

: 12:57

Dr. Angela Aja

They look dead on the outside, above the ground, but underneath, the roots are very much alive and well. And so it doesn't look like anything's happening on the outside, but inside there's just a great. You know, the roots are going deeper. There's a lot of life happening. And, you know, we go through that as leaders. Sometimes we go through those winter seasons. But you are like a deciduous tree. And even if people are judging you from what they see on the outside, like, it doesn't look like anything's happening with her. You know, you can't judge yourself or go by the judgments of others.

: 13:43

Dr. Angela Aja

If you're in a winter season and you're like that deciduous tree where, you know, it doesn't look like anything's happening on the outside, but you know that your roots are going deep underneath the ground, there's so much life happening, and you will come back around again to spring, and that's when you begin to see that new life on the outside. When you feel like you're stuck, I want to give you some tips here on how to move through the stuck seasons of your life. And as a woman who is leading herself well. So first of all, you have to recognize that it's a season. It's not a sentence. You have to extract the wisdom or the assignment from it. You know, why am I going through this and then move when it's time to transition.

: 14:45

Dr. Angela Aja

In other words, you know, don't make that your, that stuck season, your home. I said to somebody the other day, you know, don't pitch your tent in a stuck season. You know, you might feel stuck in a season of grief, and then that grief turns into your identity. Or a waiting season becomes a place of self doubt, or a hustle season turns into burnout. Or a dry season is where your hope gets buried. So you really have to identify what season are you in? What's the lesson for it? And just remember that seasons don't define you. They're only here to refine you. And you're never going to stay in unless you decide to stay stuck. You know, seasons come and seasons go. And I heard someone say one day, they said, this too shall pass.

: 15:45

Dr. Angela Aja

They said, it may pass like a kidney stone, but this too shall pass. And I have to remember that even for myself as I am leading myself, well, I will not get stuck in a season. I'm always paying attention to what season am I in, what's happening, and then just knowing like, okay, I'm gonna get through this. So here's how to know when your season is shifting. You might feel uncomfortable, you know, like where in the places where you've settled, but all of a sudden you start feeling uncomfortable. And like the stirring, like you need to move. Another way to know if your season is shifting is you'll notice that old strategies stop working for you.

: 16:35

Dr. Angela Aja

So in other words, like if you have, if an old strategy is to shut down when you get overwhelmed, but you notice like, okay, that's not working for me anymore, then that is a sign that it's time to shift your season and handle the overwhelm differently. You know, you might feel God stirring up new desires and new dreams that you had forgotten about. That's a good way to know that your season is getting ready to shift. Or you start to feel uneasy, you lose peace, clarity. And you just feel like the grace is lifting for this current season. And so here's what I need you to know. Don't confuse pruning with punishment. Sometimes God allows The stripping so that the soil of your life can breathe again. This is very important to remember.

: 17:32

Dr. Angela Aja

So how do you move forward into your now, your new season? If you feel like your season is shifting, you're not going to stay stuck. You are leading yourself well, here's how to shift into your new season. Number one, you need to discern the shift and ask the Holy Spirit, what time is it in my life right now? Know, write down your spiritual patterns and notice any changes that are happening. Number two, you have to let go of things that are no longer serving you. Let go of outdated mindsets, maybe even outdated roles and routines that you know that they just no longer fit who you're becoming. And so I always say that who you are today cannot sustain your next level. So you do have to go through those identity makeovers and you're not becoming someone different.

: 18:35

Dr. Angela Aja

But each time you step into a new season, you are becoming the most authentic version of who you were created to be. You're becoming the version of you that can operate, flow and sustain that new season and then partner with the process. You know, there's a quote that says that God never wastes a hurt. And so, you know, just partner with the process, move through it with grace. You don't have to get through any season at any certain time. And a lot I find that when women feel stuck, a lot of times they're saying should, like I shouldn't be here or I should get through this faster. When it comes to leading yourself well and moving in and out of seasons of your life, you can't should or shouldn't yourself because that links to false expectations and false expectations are always linked to disappointment.

: 19:38

Dr. Angela Aja

So you know, remember Ecclesiastes chapter 3, verse 1, that he's made everything beautiful in its time. And so you know, your job is not to control the timing, but your job as you're moving through your seasons is to stay in alignment, keep in step with the spirit, and remember that God's going to give you signals, but it's your job to respond to those signals. So operating from a place of self, leadership, leading yourself well, living with autonomy. Autonomy is not rebellion. It's not, I don't need anybody in my life. But autonomy is the ability for you to make choices according to your values, your identity, your convictions without being controlled by external pressures. And so you know, this is how you move through those seasons is with autonomy, which brings, aligns you with emotional integrity, right? So you don't have to walk on eggshells.

: 20:59

Dr. Angela Aja

You're not worrying about what other people think of you. You're setting strong boundaries. Your identity is rooted in who you are and who God created you to be and not who you think you should be for everyone else. You know, I walking in autonomy helps you to not move in people pleasing, feeling responsible for everybody else's emotions, saying yeses that you really want to say no where you really want to say yes. So walking with autonomy as you lead yourself well helps you to take just real radical ownership of your purpose and your calling. And it's so powerful, not only autonomy, but again just standing in that authority. So we've seen here that in order to lead yourself well, you need that authenticity, you need autonomy and then you need authority, which we talked about in the beginning.

: 22:06

Dr. Angela Aja

othing will harm you. Matthew: 28:18

: 23:02

Dr. Angela Aja

If you are just being a woman of authority, if you're embodying authority, if you are using that authority over yourself, over your own heart, over your own mind, over your own thoughts and patterns. And then the last thing that's so important for self leadership is accuracy. And just to again, going back to the seasons, really understanding the timing and paying attention to the timing of God and not trying to get out of a season too early and going back to summit a soar. The five stages of the rise of a Woman. My book, you know, I talk about how our journey as women mimics the caterpillar's journey to becoming a butterfly. And we know that the caterpillar cannot break out of the cocoon before it's done. And there's no set time. Every caterpillar's journey is different.

: 24:05

Dr. Angela Aja

There's a different time process for every butterfly, for every caterpillar becoming a butterfly. And so we can't get antsy and try and break out of the cocoon before God's done with us, because you have not just been called to fly. You know, when a butterfly, she's out there living with purpose. She's in the air. She's not afraid to be seen. She's flying, flapping her wings. Something happens and she catches the tailwind. And when you catch the tailwind, that's when the tailwind takes you further and higher than you could ever go on your own. And so that's what I believe is the prophetic promise for us as women who are leading that if we will embrace the process, lead ourselves well, don't try and skip the process of personal development. Really allow those wings to grow strong.

: 25:12

Dr. Angela Aja

Then we will get in the air, we will be living with purpose, and then we will catch the tailwind. And that's when an Amos 9:13 moment begins to happen. So I hope that this has encouraged you and inspired you to really tap into that self leadership. Lead yourself well, you can lead others where you are not willing to go, but only for a little while. Only for a little while. So I love you. I can't wait to hear your takeaways. And I want you to know that you have been summoned to soar.

: 25:57

Dr. Angela Aja

Thank you for tuning in to Summoned to Soar radio. This is where bold female leaders just like you embrace the call to rise above the ordinary and step into a life of greater purpose and impact. Hey, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so that you'll always know when the next episode drops. I want to remind you that you have everything you need to turn your challenges into stepping stones, amplify your message and leave a lasting legacy. Whether it's writing a thought leadership book or leading with more purpose, or designing a life that's fulfilling and meaningful, it is your time to soar right now. So go boldly align your work with your calling and let your leadership inspire, change, shift narratives and make your mark on the world.

: 26:52

Dr. Angela Aja

If you're ready for the next step, then head on over to Angelaja.com and join the Crown membership. It's a sisterhood of women who are reigning with grace, wisdom and purpose. Together we'll transform your story, your leadership and your legacy into a movement that lasts for generations. Until next time, keep rising. And remember, transformation begins the moment you answer the call to soar.